I'm getting lots of work this week. I usually don't work at the same time as other casual workers, but today I did. She said that she was surprised that some casual workers are getting lots of hours and I am not. She encouraged me to say something. I don't know if I have the courage. I know there is seniority, and also there is the fact that they could prefer the other woman's work. I don't want to have my feelings hurt more than they already are. Also it's the manager's job to make the right decisions for the workplace. Maybe they know I leap at all extra hours and so they want to keep me as the person who picks up shift others can't do. It feels unfair, though.
Then I came home and Holly dog ate my favourite shoes. Apparently she had her eye on them all day and my partner kept taking them away from her, but didn't put them where she couldn't reach. So bye bye shoes.
Then I got my daughter's grad photos in the mail. Yay! The package was very disappointing. The 4 x 6's I thought I ordered (I think in my head I pictured 5 x 7's) were actually 4 x 5's which are so tiny. The other pictures were the wallet size. So we have tiny, and teeny tiny photos of my beautiful girl. And the worst thing is the amount we paid for them. $90! How is that even possible?! You can't NOT order grad pics. It's such a scam.
I want a drink so bad. Will it take away this frustration? I don't feel angry very often, but today has made me angry. I feel like throwing things, like ripping up paper, like doing something to cause pain in my body. Writing this stuff down is the only thing stopping me. A drink won't do anything to help, except make me feel like I'm treating myself. I might try a bath again. I know my foot will hurt, but I don't know how else to cope.
I guess the root cause of all these issues I've had today has been worrying about money. Having enough, unnecessary expenses, spending unwisely, saving enough. It's pretty overwhelming on top of keeping everyone's schedules in my head, and not letting people down who are counting on me. I need to treat myself gently. Maybe I should get a puzzle out or have a little nap. Alcohol will not help.