I have been sleeping so well since we've been back home but last night I had a terrible dream. I just finished The Parable of the Sower, a dystopian novel, and the next morning I had to drive to the next town over for training. Those two ideas mixed together and it was harrowing. I managed a short trip driving yesterday with no problem. My foot is still not better and it is uncomfortable switching pedals but I managed to drive to the next town and back today even though I was worried about it (the dream was defnitely a product of my anxiety.)
The ultimate relaxation feeling is gone. The realities of life are coming at me from all directions. There are 10000 tasks associated with having a house. I get more done in a day when I am relaxed but it's impossible to get started when it's all weighing down on you. As soon as you clean, it gets messy again so there is no satisfaction of a job well done. It still needs to be done though, so you drag yourself around doing the things that need doing. Living life that way is horrible and joyless. Then there is work. I'm still upset about being bottom of the pack in such an obvious way. I'm also pmsing so maybe we'll see how I feel in a few days time.
I poured myself a drink of red wine. It's a very small amount and I don't know if I'll drink it all. It feels like an fu to the day. It's quite acidic so I'm a bit worried about my stomach. I also am having trouble drinking coffee. I had 2 big mugs yesterday morning, my usual amount, and I got such a headache. We only had small cups on holiday, so maybe my body is weaned off coffee and I should try and stay that way. Healthy choices are choosing me!