For a bit of background. I am a millenial wine mom. It mortified me when it became a meme. I started drinking because I had my children in a culture where drinking was far more acceptable than in North America. I never drank until I lived there. We moved back and brought the culture with us. When it's bedtime and you've finished for the day, whether it was a good day or bad, you can't go out and do anything as a parent and you are tired. BUT you can have a drink with your wonderful partner, then watching TV and chatting away becomes it's own little party. A very special part of the day.
I feel like I've just convinced myself not to stop!
It's been 16 years and I've had 2 or 3 drinks a night. The math is 17520 drinks over that time. If every drink cost $3, that's $52560. I've had blood work and my liver numbers are normal. I'm reasonably healthy, but I have started to notice lapses in memory, I have digestive issues, my mood can be low, and I wake up a lot at night. I'm curious to see what changes when I stop drinking. I also feel like it's better to stop when I am still ok, rather than waiting for an inevitable decline.
ALSO we have become old. When we were 24 and 27, it felt so new and interesting to open a bottle of wine and drink it from our own little wine glasses. The excitement levels, the heightened senses of being that age, have dimmed into 'It's TV time, I'm getting a drink, you want one?' It's not cute anymore.
I'm hoping stopping drinking will bring those youthful, heightened senses back.
I have done dry months many times, and I know from experience that it becomes easier after the first few days. My trigger time is the evening, so sometimes going to bed early is the only option. There are going to be strong urges on random days that I will need to be prepared for. I have relied on edible treats like chips and chocolate to replace alcohol in the past, but I don't want to go down this route. Tonight I was going to go to bed early, but my daughter wanted to watch a movie with me. I don't want to rely on my children because that is bad parenting, but it might be a wonderful replacement treat when she chooses to be with me in the evening. *The feeling as a parent when your child grows into a young person who likes the same movies as you* Bliss.