Day 13 & 14


I keep waking up from 12-2 in the night. I have to get up and get a snack, and then eventually I will fall back asleep. Tonight I will put a cracker on my bedside table. Maybe that will shorten the time awake.

I'm going with my husband to New York in 6 days. Hopefully the time change will mess with my sleep enough to do a reset. I can't remember the last time I slept through the night. I really hoped giving up alcohol would help, or that the sleep apnea test would mean a machine would stop me waking up.

I am finally over my muscles being sore from the exercise class. I did a little pilates workout today to keep my muscles used to working until the next class.

I got called in to work some extra days this week. The money is always welcome, but I was hoping for some time to sort out the house for my parents to stay here. It will all come together somehow, it always does. I work best under pressure.

I have found myself with a little more self esteem, the last few days. I think the exercise and healthy eating and drinking are making me hope that I could look good. I have found myself drinking a lot of diet cola to replace alchol. It has actually caused me to get a bladder infection, because pop is not the same as water for hydration. I'm still not losing weight (how?!) but I've done a dry month before and the same thing happened. Exercise also usually makes me gain weight, not lose it. Weight is really not a good indicator of what's going on in my body. Every change I have done this last 2 weeks has been amazing for my physical self. Keep it up, me!

I listened to a podcast I enjoy, and the women always talk about drinking.. I listened and didn't even feel the slightest twinge of desire for beer or wine. This two weeks has not been hard, but 2 weeks can be a long time. I wonder if it feels like longer because I can actually remember the individual days. What sleep I'm getting is maybe sorting my memories into nice orderly dendrons, instead of fuzzy idea clouds.